Flashback Friday

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Oak + Fort tee (DIY cropped) | Fidelity jeans | Zara sandals | Lia Sophia wrap bracelet | Club Monaco nail bracelet

Currently listening to: One Republic – If I Lose Myself (Alesso Remix)

I think it’s about the 6th time that I’ve created my Tinder account. You have to completely delete it when you no longer want to use it and I go in waves from meeting someone I really like, maybe “dating” them or just hatred of the male species, so no need for an account, ya know? Well, in celebration of reopening my account I’ve decided to enter with a bang! I have 4 dates scheduled with 4 different guys from today until Tuesday. You may recall the last time I did this, I ended up seeing the Snowboarder for a little bit. Let’s see what will come of this. Tonight’s date will be super mellow as we’re going for ice cream. How classic!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this on the blog in previous but before I began to discuss my dating life on here with all of you it was kept secret in a word document on my computer. In the form of a book. Yep, I was writing a book about my romantic life! After stumbling upon the document and reading the 16,091 words I had written I felt the need to share some of these dates that I wrote about. Some were great and some were awful. In honor of Flashback Friday, I would like to introduce you to…

The Over-Achiever That Lives At Home

The two of us went to my favorite restaurant in Gastown. He picked me up, waited outside of his car and walked around the side of it to let me in. I guess that was sweet, I haven’t been on a date in…ever, really. So what did I know about what was right and wrong?

The moment I saw him I said to myself “Crap! He’s not my type.” We had met in a nightclub a few days prior and in the dark, he looked like my type. He wore a basic and tight black tee shirt with faded jeans and Puma shoes with one of those black bomber jackets that only 19 year old boys wear.  I knew I had to go along with the date, it was the least I could do. While driving in his car I took my ring off to play with it so that my fingers were occupied and he couldn’t try to hold my hand but I dropped it between the seats, it was my favorite ring! He played the most horrible Euro trash techno music that made my ears bleed; I hate that kind of music.

He parked the car, paid for his parking ticket and we walked to the joint. Since you can’t make reservations we had to wait about 20 minutes and we decided to go for a walk. Thankfully those 20 minutes went by very fast and we proceeded to the restaurant. He made absurd jokes about how funny it would be to just go up to someone’s table and start eating their food. I didn’t realize I was 12 years old again. I spat my gum into my napkin and instead of leaving it on the table I placed it in my pocket to throw away for later. He made a scene by saying “EW!” about 5 times making the other tables turn to us and stare obnoxiously. I was mortified and thought this should be a good time to ask him his age because he was beginning to look younger and younger. He refused to take out his ID and made me take mine out and prove that I’m 25. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, he just turned 23 years old. Oh wait, it does get worse. He can’t cook, can’t iron or wash his own clothes.

We ate our meals and he embarrassed me once again by making another scene and irritating the table next to us. I knew I needed to turn this guy off in some way so I took every chance I could take. He asked me what my type of guy was and I thought “Perfect! This is my chance to blow it.” I described my type of guy as being lazy and incapable of doing anything for himself because I feel the need to mother them. “I guess it’s because I want to be a mother soon.” His jaw dropped in horror and that was the end of that conversation. Success!

We finally decided to leave and he tried to hold my hand on the walk to the car, no thanks. He even discussed giving me a kiss when he dropped me off and I was so not pleased. First of all, you don’t discuss that you just do it! Secondly, if he came at me with those lips he would have kissed pavement.

He dropped me off and I said thank you for the evening and that we will keep in touch. I really had no intention of keeping in touch with him but he decided to text me the next morning to say he had a great time and that he would like to pick the next place we go. I had to break the poor sucker’s heart and say “I had a nice time at dinner but there is not going to be a next time.” He was a gentleman about it and that was the last I heard.

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Photos by Sharday.

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